Cynicism v schmalz

The West Wing Revisited – Season 1, Episode 5: The Crackpots and These Women

Previous instalment of The West Wing Revisted

Ingredients for an Aaron Sorkin script: first take one large spoonful of. . .

The West Wing gave us British some memorable phrases which have become commonplace on this side of the Atlantic since the series fist aired.

“Take Out The Trash Day” never existed even in the United States, but as soon as Aaron Sorkin coined it for his fantasy world of politics, it crept into the language here, to mean a day, usually at the end of a long parliamentary session and just before parliament breaks up for recess, when important but unwelcome news is released by the government in the hope it will be largely overlooked by the media. The phrase has caught on even among some political journalists who desperately want to be like America just as much as any low-paid parliamentary researcher.

Another one is “Let Bartlet Be Bartlet”, except with Bartlet replaced with whichever senior politician happens to be being criticised for not adhering to his own political instincts. Can you believe that Ed Miliband’s staff – the young, poor fools! – actually used that expression during his first term as Labour leader? I know!

And I maintain that “POTUS” as an anacronym (an acronym that has become a word in its own right through frequent use) began life in The West Wing’s very first episode. Prove me wrong.

So it’s surprising that “Big Block of Cheese Day”, which provides the context for this episode, hasn’t yet been copied by British fans. I suppose it’s easier to introduce new phrases into the language than to actually surrender Downing Street staff time to lobbyists representing minority or downright weird causes. Andrew Jackson, America’s seventh president (1829-1837) placed a 1400-pound block of cheese (gifted to him by New York dairy farmer Thomas Meacham, if you’re interested) in the foyer of the White House, where it was duly consumed in a matter of hours. This is the inspiration for the West Wing plot line where chief-of-staff Leo McGarry (John Spencer) insists that senior staff give over some of their time to causes and people who have a hard time getting the attention of the White House.

Apparently the Obama White House pursued a similar policy, informally known as “Big Block of Cheese Day”, but I strongly suspect this was in emulation of Jed Bartlet rather than Andrew Jackson.

So we get Sam (Rob Lowe) meeting a UFO enthusiast who wants Sam to give a dossier of sightings to the president. There’s a slip in the writing here, because Sam, who is generally written as a sympathetic character and not as the spoiled, Princeton preppy he clearly is, makes an unnecessarily condescending and borderline bullying remark to the nervous and well-meaning man who has ventured into his office. “We’re a little nerdy,” admits the UFO enthusiast.

“You hide it well with your clothing,” replies Sam archly. Oh, do fuck off! How dare you criticise the clothes of someone who clearly has not only less style but less of an income than you?

Incidentally, the UFO enthusiast here is played by Sam Lloyd, perhaps better known as Ted, the nervous hospital lawyer in Scrubs, who died at the tragically young age of 56 in 2020.

CJ (Allison Janney), meanwhile, is lobbied by a group of wildlife activists who want the administration to pay for the construction of a $900 million highway that would be used exclusively by wolves. And here we get the second appearance in our “future stars of the screen” series: Nick Offerman, best known as Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation plays wolf enthusiast Jerry.

There’s an odd moment when Josh (Bradley Whitford) takes time out to visit his shrink, who turns out to be called Stanley. I only mention this because later on in the series, following events in the season one finale, Josh is assigned a new therapist (played by Adam Arkin) who also happens to be called Stanley. But I’m pretty sure he’s supposed to be a different Stanley from the one in this episode. Anyway, just thought I’d mention it. Strange coincidence.

Aside from the Big Block of Cheese thing, this episode centres of the deteriorating relationship between President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) and Toby (Richard Schiff), who once again proves he’s the best actor on screen. As long-time fans will know, this tension develops further in season two and reaches an unlikely and unsatisfying conclusion in the very last season. But for now it’s played very well and convincingly, a reminder that in a chaotic environment like government, not everyone can get on all the time.

In terms of long-term plots, this episode is also significant because it’s when Charlie (Dulé Hill) meets Zoey Bartlet (Elizabeth Moss) for the first time.

But we have to talk about the schmalz. I love it, so long as it’s written well, and no one can write schmalz as well as Sorkin. But here it’s a little heavy-handed and cringeworthy. First of all we get the president, Leo and Josh waxing lyrical and, frankly, painfully, about how much they admire “these women”, their female co-workers, and this is where we get some truly awful lines that are obviously meant to portray CJ and Mandy (Moira Kelly) in glowing terms. It’s sincerely meant but it comes across as incredibly condescending. Do we need three middle aged white men telling us how great these characters are, or maybe the women in question could just have some decent plots and lines?

This conversation also features the first mention of Mrs Landingham’s (Kathryn Joosten) loss of her two sons in the Vietnam war.

But back to that schmalz. During his welcome speech to a chilli night in the West Wing to celebrate Zoe’s arrival in Washington, President Bartlet goes off on one. You know when this is going to happen because (a) it happens pretty much at the end of every episode; and (b) you get inspiring background music starting off low and becoming louder, just in case you can’t work it out for yourself. On this occasion it’s a choirboy’s rendition of Ave Maria.

The president helpfully summarises that day’s meetings and challenges and reassures Sam that the object mentioned by Ted out of Scrubs entering American airspace was

not a spaceship from another planet [but from] another time. A long since abandoned Soviet satellite. One of its booster rockets didn't fire, and it couldn't escape Earth's orbit. A sad reminder of a time when two powerful nations challenged each other and then boldly raced into outer space.

At which point I would have been looking longingly at my bowl of chilli and wondering how long Bartlet was going to go on for.

What will be the next thing that challenges us, Toby? That makes us go farther and work harder? You know, when smallpox was eradicated. . .

Jesus, he’s on to smallpox now! Anyone know when the bars close?

. . . it was considered the single greatest humanitarian achievement of this century. Surely we can do it again, as we did in the time when our eyes look towards the heavens and with outstretched fingers, we touched the face of God.

Presumably the callback to President Reagan’s brilliant and moving tribute to the crew of the space shuttle Challenger in 1986 was deliberate: “We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God.” Well, if you’re going to borrow, borrow from the best.

Sorkin schmalz, even when it’s heavy-handed, is preferable to cynicism. One of the reasons a version of The West Wing could never be made in Britain is that our TV and entertainments industries, not to mention ourselves, are far too jaded about our politicians. We could never suspend disbelief enough to believe that MPs and ministers are there for the right reasons, that they want to do their patriotic duty for the good of their constituents and their country, rather than for the sake of their bank balances. We just don’t buy it. That’s why The Thick Of It is so popular. And that’s a pity, and not just because it limits the breadth of drama that might otherwise be produced in this country; it’s a problem for the health of our democracy and our civic life.

Here endeth the sermon. Peace be with you.